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 Good (and corny) Jokes

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Darth Caedus

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PostSubject: Good (and corny) Jokes   Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:57 am

First topic message reminder :

Post in this topic if you know any good jokes, whether they be Star Wars, Lego, or random jokes.

What is like a rancor's horn?

His other horn!

Pretty cheesy I know..... Can you do any better?
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The_Custom_One
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:48 pm

That is hilarious! I have seen that somewhere before.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:32 am

HA! Thats hilarious! The beginning was my favorite part.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:08 pm

LOL!

That is hilarious........ Poor Abbott and Costello....
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:28 pm

LOL!!!!! LOL!!!!!
ROFL!!!!
This is so funny!!!!!!
dD you like windows or mac?

ROFL,

CBM
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:53 pm

I'm not sure if this has been said but...

What do you call a guy who feeds a rancor?

Lunch.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Jan 30, 2010 6:20 pm

Hmmm that is pretty corny!!!!!
I just won RISK!


CBM
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The_Custom_One
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:28 pm

Here is some thing I found and added to. Sorry for the length

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were
alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might
have sounded something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER
FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help
you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac
COSTELLO: No, the
name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a
computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you,
my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will
it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with
Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the
windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for
Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use
to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you
have?
ABBOTT: Office
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you
recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did
what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended
something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend
Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with
windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What
word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office
is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:
Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when
you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click
your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight
answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right.
What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to
track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your
computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
COSTELLO: I get
a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One
copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT:
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give
you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

COSTELLO: But I thought the government
made it?

ABBOTT: No Microsoft made it.

COSTELLO: Is that why Microsoft is
rich?

ABBOTT: They did not make real money.

COSTELLO: So I get a copy of illegal
money?

ABBOTT: No, it's not illegal, because
Microsoft made it.

COSTELLO: But I thought you just said
they didn't make real money?

ABBOTT: They don't make real money,
that is illegal.

COSTELLO: But how do they give it away?
How can they own it, and give it away for free if they don't make it?




THE NEXT DAY

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can
I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I make a
graphics design?


ABBOTT: Use Paint.

COSTELLO: On the computer?

ABBOTT: Yes on the
computer.


COSTELLO: But won't that
cover up the screen?


ABBOTT: No, it won't
cover over the screen. Just use paint.


COSTELLO: Okay, I put
paint on the computer, But it covered the whole screen, I can't see
anything.


ABBOTT: No you click on
the picture of a paintbrush.


COSTELLO: How? I can't see
the screen.


ABBOTT: Take off the
paint.


COSTELLO: But you just
told me to put it on?


ABBOTT: No I said use
Paint on your computer.


COSTELLO: But when I did
that it covered the whole screen, and you told me to take it off. Now
you want me to put it back on?


ABBOTT: No, use the Paint
program that comes installed on the computer.


COSTELLO: How do I install
Paint onto my computer?


ABBOTT: You should have it
pre-installed on there.


COSTELLO: Why does it come
with paint already installed? I already have paint in my house.


ABBOTT: Because Microsoft
includes it for free.


COSTELLO: Microsoft gives
paint out for free?


ABBOTT: Yes your computer
comes with it pre-installed.


COSTELLO: Since when did
they start giving away paint for free?


ABBOTT: Ever since they
first created it.


COSTELLO: They created
paint?


ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: Then how did
famous artists use it, if it was invented only a few years ago?


ABBOTT: No, Microsoft
created the program.


COSTELLO: But you just
told me they invented it.


ABBOTT: They did.

COSTELLO: Then how did Da
Vince paint, if Microsoft invented it?


ABBOTT: He used paint, but
Microsoft invented the program Paint.


COSTELLO: Program for
what?


ABBOTT: For Paint.

COSTELLO: So now they are
selling it? I thought they gave it away for free?


ABBOTT: They do give it
away for free, it comes installed on your computer.


COSTELLO: Okay, now I
found the picture of the paintbrush, now what do I do?


ABBOTT: Click on it twice.

COSTELLO: Okay, now I have
a blank white page.



ABBOTT: Now click and
drag.


COSTELLO: Okay, I did that
but now all that happened is the white page moved.


ABBOTT: Click on the white
page.


COSTELLO: Okay, now what?

ABBOTT: Do you see
anything on it?


COSTELLO: Yeah I see a
black dot.


ABBOTT: Good you are now
on your way to making graphics.


COSTELLO: But all I have
is a black dot.


ABBOTT: Yes, now click
some more on the white page.


COSTELLO: How do I change
the color?


ABBOTT: Click on the
color.


COSTELLO: I did but all
that happened was the black dot got bigger.


ABBOTT: No, click on the
black square on the side.


COSTELLO: But all I have
on here are black dots.


ABBOTT: On the side of the
screen is a black square. Click on it.


COSTELLO: Now it says “Do
you want to save?”
ABBOTT: No, click on the other square on the
other side.


COSTELLO: It won't let me
click on anything but the box that popped up.


ABBOTT: Close that.

COSTELLO: How do I close
it?


ABBOTT: Click on the “X”.

COSTELLO: But that's how I
got into this mess.


ABBOTT: Just click on it.

COSTELLO: I did but now
everything disappeared.


ABBOTT: Okay, open up the
white page again.


COSTELLO: I can't because
now there is a big blue screen.


ABBOTT: Okay, turn off
your computer then turn it back on.


COSTELLO: How?

ABBOTT: Do you see the
blue button on the tower?


COSTELLO: What tower?

ABBOTT: The one that you
put CD's in.


COSTELLO: Does this
computer come with free CD's?


ABBOTT: That doesn't
matter, first you just need to push the blue button.


COSTELLO: I did, but then
the screen went black.


ABBOTT: Good, now

COSTELLO: But I want it
on, not off.


ABBOTT: I know, just push
the blue button again.


COSTELLO: But last time I
did that it turned the computer off.


ABBOTT: I know but when
you push it again, it will turn on.


COSTELLO: How can it turn
the computer off, and on?


ABBOTT: Because that's
just how it's made.


COSTELLO: How come they
made it that way?


ABBOTT: That is not
important right now. Just push it again.


COSTELLO: Now I see the
big blue screen again. And it has the same thing as before.


ABBOTT: No, push the blue
button on the big tower, not on the screen.


COSTELLO: Where do I find
the tower?


ABBOTT: It is easy to
find, it is right next to your screen.



COSTELLO: I thought that
was the printer.


ABBOTT: Not that one,the
big black rectangle shape.


COSTELLO: Oh, that is the
tower? I pushed the blue button, now what?


ABBOTT: Now push it again.

COSTELLO: But last time I
did that nothing worked.


ABBOTT: Just do it.

COSTELLO: It worked
thanks, that's all for now.



A few days later:
ABBOTT: Super
Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my
computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START”
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:35 pm

LOL
This is so funny!!!
I was enjoying it the whole time!!!

CBM
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:07 am

Glad you liked it. I typed up most of it myself,
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:26 pm

Really?
You did very good.
Good JOB!!!
CBM
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:27 pm

Thank you, it took me a few minutes.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:29 pm

WOW that is fast.
And you posted back fast too.
CBM
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:30 pm

Yeah, because I am still here.
I got it when it had only half that.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:35 pm

Any body else know any jokes?

CBM
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:37 pm

I know you could probably find some on-line.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:38 pm

Probably but I do not go on-line looking for jokes to post here.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:40 pm

True, so does anyone else have a joke?

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:46 pm

Not me(That I want to share).
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:48 pm

Ok here is one.
A man goes to a restaurant and is asked if he would like an elephant egg. The man says, "No, the yolks are too big." "But why?" Someone asks. "Because" the man responds, "Then the yolk is on me."

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:50 pm

Hmmm that is kinda corney.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:50 pm

Yeah, I just thought it up.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:51 pm

Yes.
That may be what it looks like.
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:52 pm

Actually I thought it up as I typed!

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:53 pm

Cool!
any others?
I guess not?
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:54 pm

Not that I can think of right now.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:48 am

How about a riddle?


Thirty white horses on a red hill.
First they champ, then they stamp,
then they stand still.


What is the answer?
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:33 pm

Easy, teeth in the mouth.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:10 pm

Does that even make sense? ... Oh, I get it. The horses do that with their teeth.

Use correct spelling. T_C
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Mon Feb 08, 2010 4:11 pm

No, the horses are supposed to be teeth and the red hill is the tongue.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:42 pm

I get it now.
Very Funny (Mabey)

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:44 am

the_customizer wrote:
Easy, teeth in the mouth.

Yep, you are right. I got that from Lord of the Rings.

The answer is teeth (white horses) and gums (red hill).
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:11 am

Yes Funny.
What happens whee T_C and DC get mad?
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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:02 am

I don't know! And I am T_C.

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PostSubject: Re: Good (and corny) Jokes   Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:52 pm

can I post some of my comics here? i made a few really good ones
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